Episode #40 - Pieces (1982 - "Mil gritos tiene la noche")
Oscar: “This is one of the movies recommended by horror maestro Eli Roth, for his ideal 24-hour horror movie marathon. I trust everything Eli Roth says, so of course I had to get this.”
Oscar: Hey! (0:00)
Oscar: Yes!
Andy: Wow.
Jackie: This already feels like TV Carnage.
Oscar: Kind of a 70s, John Waters feel so far. (0:01)
Andy: Why does he sound like he’s from New York? We’re in Boston.
Oscar: They do have a Patriots banner there. (0:03)
Andy: I think I had that font. I think it was in Kid Pix. Sounds like The Warriors is starting.
Oscar: I feel like I’m playing Chiller. (0:04)
Oscar: Oh! He did Pod People!
Andy: Oh geez. (0:06)
Andy: Hey, I think I know who the killer is.
Stacey: Well, I don’t know. (0:07)
Oscar: Yes! Yes!
Stacey: Right to the chainsaw!
Jakcie: I love this. So little plot. (0:09)
Oscar: I think that’s one of the same voice actors as Pod People! (0:11)
Andy: I had a Professor Brown in college. (0:12)
Jackie: Do we know what college this is? (0:14)
Jackie: What?
Oscar: They’re like Crept and Mattress!
Jackie: “We’re just getting clothes without labels and trying them on for size”!? (0:15)
Oscar: What do they say about sugar?
Stacey: Rots your teeth. (0:18)
Jakcie: Is she wearing high tops?
Andy: Dude, it’s the 80s.
Jackie: Yeah, and I had high tops. But I was 6. (0:18)
Jackie: Wouldn’t you wait to see who’s coming before you get undressed like that?
Oscar: Not in 80s horror movies. (0:18)
Oscar: Is he going to skim her out of the pool?
Stacey: Nah, he’s going whack her over the head.
Andy: Nah, he’s going to hold her underwater.
Pause
Oscar: Oooh - looks like he’s skimming her! (0:20)
Andy: The Warriors soundtrack just wants to start. Just let it start! (0:22)
Oscar: It’s the Keystone Cops! (0:24)
Oscar: Oh my god! That guy was in Pod People! That’s the, “it stinks!” guy! (0:29)
Jackie: What the fuck?
Oscar: Are they listening to Devo?
Jackie: What the fuck?
Oscar: This sounds like late-period Alice Cooper.
Andy: It sounds like they’re listening to “Funkytown.”
Stacey: Is he going to kill all of these people? (0:30)
Andy: The professional, televised tennis player is an undercover cop?
Jackie: That recognized her face?
Oscar: That’s like having Tiger Woods come teach. (0:35)
Oscar: They’re not even looking the same way!
Jackie: The professional tennis player, as an undercover cop, as a tennis coach. (0:37)
Andy: That Boston Globe reporter is getting a little nosy. Might need to take care of her, too. (0:40)
Andy: Woah. Nice hat.
Oscar: William S. Burroughs looks on. (0:40)
Jackie: This movie has some fast pace.
Andy: I think Lawrence of Arabia felt shorter than this. (0:41)
Stacey: Wow that tiny boombox puts out a lot of sound.
Oscar: It’s a Bose. (0:42)
Jackie: Wait, where is he?
Oscar: Movies like this have trouble with spacial relations.
Stacey: There’s another door.
Jackie: So, where is he? (0:43)
Jakcie: How did she not see the chainsaw?
Stacey: Well, he did have some flowers.
Jackie: Yeah, but it’s a chainsaw. (0:45)
Andy: No-no-no-no-no… ugh. No.
Stacey: So is your scene like that, Oscar?
Oscar: Not quite. (0:49)
Oscar: Is that a Friday the 13th poster on the wall?
Andy: Hey, it’s your room. (0:49)
Jackie: Why is she walking alone at night?
Andy: She’s a cop.
Jackie: I bet she doesn’t have a gun.
Andy: Yeah. She’s a tennis coach. (0:50)
Oscar: What?
Jackie: What?
Andy: What?
Jackie: What the fuck?
Oscar: I hope they never explain that. (0:51)
Andy: Now I kind of wished they never explained that. (0:51)
Stacey: We established a starting problem with the bike.
Oscar: I think it’s more they couldn’t afford to re-take the scene.
Andy: They’re renting that bike by the hour. (0:52)
Andy: So, what part of Boston is this green?
Oscar: It’s the part of Boston that’s in Spain. (0:53)
Stacey: So, is he going to break down that door?
Jackie: Nah he’s too -
Stacey: -stalk-y?
Jackie: I was gonna say classy, but then I thought better.
Oscar: More like they’re recording on someone’s property and can’t break the doors. (0:55)
Oscar: The screenwriter must have been so happy when they wrote that bit. (0:57)
Oscar: I’m not sure if the people who made this movie are from Earth.
Andy: They’re certainly not from Boston. (0:58)
Andy: Oh man, I think we might have a killing scene to a Sousa march. (0:59)
Stacey: I’m surprised they’re letting her get dressed before she dies.
Oscar: They’re not gonna let her put that top on. (1:01)
Oscar: So, uh, “here’s Johnny,” then. (1:01)
Stacey: So that’s why they let her put the pants on - so she could piss her pants. (1:02)
Andy: Why were you in the girl’s locker room, Kendall? (1:04)
Andy: Clipping. Wow, clipping.
Jackie: That was awesome. (1:05)
Oscar: Bastards! (1:05)
Oscar: That was not worth the false scare. (1:08)
Andy: Arlington’s not a days trip from Boston, movie. (1:08)
Stacey: “And by Saccharine I mean poison!” (1:11)
Oscar: It is New England. (1:11)
Andy: Isn’t this supposed to be the thrilling conclusion of the movie? Shouldn’t it be either thrilling or a conclusion? (1:13)
Oscar: Is he talking to Kojack? (1:15)
Andy: It is New England. (1:15)
Oscar: It is New England. (1:16)
Oscar: “Have you heard the new record by Huey Lewis and the News?”
Andy: I think we’re about to hear it. (1:18)
Oscar: That was some pretty restrained gore there. (1:21)
Oscar: What!?!?
Andy: Oh my god!
Oscar: Yes!
Stacey: He reassembled her! (1:24)
Oscar: What?
Andy: What!?!
Stacey: What?
Andy: It ends like this?
Oscar: I guess. (1:25)
Stacey: Not quite the epic proportions of Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers or High School Confidential, but tries really hard. 2 Crushed Testicles
Oscar: Thank you, Eli. You have yet to let me down. 3 Bastards
Andy: Well, it is New England. 3 Endings
Jackie: Indeed, it is exactly what it sounds like. 1 Unlit Cigar
