Episode #31 - The Hitcher (1986)
Oscar: “This is one of the seminal 80s horror movies that I feel like I should have seen by now, but haven’t. I picked this up at CEX maybe a month ago.”
Andy: So… Manos? The… Hands of Fate. (0:02)
Andy: ..the end.
Stacey: Boom!
Oscar: “Tell ‘em Large Marge sent ya!” (0:03)
Andy: See, that’s mistake number one.
Oscar: Mistake number two is never pick up Rutger Hauer. (0:05)
Jackie: Wow. He cuts right to the point.
Andy: Yeah. See, this movie has no exposition but it works.
Oscar: Yeah, this is awesome. (0:10)
Stacey: Good thing he wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
Jackie: So far this is a pretty feel-good movie. (0:14)
Andy: Why are you stopping? He’s just making bad decisions all around.
Stacey: Yes, they’re all dead, and the hitcher probably still has the knife and maybe more weapons.
Jackie: Change highways, go to the police, just don’t stop. (0:16)
Oscar: Looks like the set of an 80s music video. (0:18)
Stacey: Why are you pulling over? (0:20)
Oscar: I’d like to see a movie of the hitcher versus Stuntman Mike. (0:22)
Stacey: Haha, his car’s on fire.
Andy: His tires would melt!
Stacey: Probably. (0:23)
Oscar: That’s Jennifer Jason Leigh.
Andy: Jason Lee is in this movie? (0:26)
Jackie: What the hell? (0:31)
Andy: They’re using real phone numbers.
Oscar: Yeah. (0:34)
Oscar: It’s The Thing!
Andy: I was just thinking about how this movie is like The Thing. That sort of constant terror feeling. (0:40)
Jackie: We haven’t seen any real gore.
Andy: Well, there was the finger.
Jackie: True.
Oscar: We haven’t seen any actual murders.
Andy: Yeah, that’s what’s so powerful about this movie. (0:41)
Andy: Oh come on!
Jackie: Get back in your cell! You fucking idiot! (0:42)
Jackie: God, this is the most frustrating horror movie I have ever seen. (0:44)
Jackie: He is the worst protagonist ever.
Andy: This is as much the frustration of the protagonist as it is the genius of the killer. (0:48)
Andy: He’s kind of like Bobby from Twin Peaks. (0:50)
Andy: Man, “Eminence Front” just keeps wanting to start and just can’t start. (1:00)
Megan showed up with some cake. Her rating: “2 scary 4 me.”
All: Oh man! (1:03)
Oscar: Can’t really blame this one on the hitcher.
Andy: Nope. No one to blame here but himself.
Oscar: And Jenifer Jason Leigh.
Andy: Jason Lee’s in this movie? (1:04)
Jackie: Man, this is a bad day for him. (1:06)
Andy: This is like a Grand Theft Auto you don’t want to play. (1:06)
Oscar: They found the Texas Chainsaw Massacre House! (1:08)
We’re pretty glued to the TV for this conclusion. We feel as though any commentary here might spoil it.
Stacey: Rule number 1: don’t pick up hitchhikers. Rule number 2: don’t be that guy! 2 halves of a girlfriend
Andy: I only know Rutger Hauer from Blade Runner and now this movie. I never want to meet Rutger Hauer. 1 Magnum, no bullets.
Jackie: Simultaneously the creepiest villian and the dumbest protagonist ever. You guess the outcome. Lots of small-town diners.
Oscar: I knew this movie was considered something of a classic in the Fangoria set, but I wasn’t prepared for what an intense little movie this is. And I disagree with Andy: I want to have a cup of coffee with Rutger Hauer. 1 Serving of Finger Food.
