Episode #25 - Transformers: The Movie (1986)
Nichole is still here!
Stacey: “Joint gift from Oscar and Andy. Not sure why I haven’t seen it. Probably should have, with how many times it’s shown at Coolidge and whatnot. Oh well. Time to fix it now.”
Andy: This movie didn’t have a title sequence, did it? Just went right into it. (0:02)
Jackie: Wow. It’s a good thing we’re not epileptic.
Oscar: That’s kind of a general good statement. It’s a daily affirmation. (0:02)
All: “Oh Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind, hey Mickey.” (0:03)
Jackie: Eric Idle?!
Oscar: The cast of this is ridiculous…
Stacey: Judd Nelson… Leonard Nimoi.
Oscar: And Orson Welles in his final film role!
Jackie: Orson Welles is in this movie. (0:04)
Andy: Oh man… Soundwave. Soundwave is my favorite transformer. I’m so glad he’s in this.
Oscar: You know he’s in the new one, too.
Andy: Does he still play cassettes?
Oscar: I think he plays CDs.
Andy: That sucks. I’m not interested. (0:07)
Jackie: They destroyed Home Office! (0:08)
Jackie: Gravity-defying child! (0:09)
Stacey: Garfield used that jet-scream song. (0:11)
Oscar: This wouldn’t be the song I’d play here.
Jackie: Yeah.
Andy: I feel like that’s not the only time we are going to say that. (0:12)
Oscar: I’m glad the one transformer I had as a kid is voiced by the Micro Machines guy. (0:12)
Jackie: I love the one female one.
Andy: That’s tiny compared to the other ones.
Oscar: Yeah, and why would they give her breasts?
Nichole: Why not?
Jackie: She’s got a metal bikini.
Oscar: This movie has a David Cronenberg sense of sexuality. (0:13)
Andy: Yeah! Mix tape attack! (0:15)
Jackie: How could they do a new one? It’d lose all of its 80s charm.
Oscar: It’s bad. (0:16)
Oscar: So there was, what, one year between this and the Breakfast Club for Judd Nelson? (0:17)
Jackie: So is this a movie based on action figures.
Oscar: It’s a movie based on a TV show based on action figures. (0:18)
Andy: This movie has a market capitalization on the letter “O.” (0:19)
Oscar: Oh man, it’s this song.
Oscar & Andy: “You’ve got the touch! You’ve got the poooower! (0:20)
Jackie: What is with the upbeat Journey-knockoff songs during the fight scenes? (0:21)
Andy: Yeah Soundwave! Love that bot. (0:23)
Nichole: Wow, we’re only 24 minutes in.
Andy: So much more happened here than in 21 Grams. (0:24)
Jackie: How can it die? It’s a robot! Just fix it! (0:25)
Andy: The Matrix? (0:25)
Jackie: Do they address the facts that they have souls in crystals in their chests?
Oscar: No. (0:25)
Oscar: What are these measuring?
Andy: Heartrate?
Oscar: What heart?
Andy: Sean-Penn-ness? (0:26)
Jackie: Woah, it’s a Trapper Keeper. (0:27)
Andy: Yeah, Soundwave! You tell him!
Oscar: It’s a union metaphor. (0:28)
Jackie: So this is Orson Welles talking right now?
Oscar: Yeah. And I think that’s Leonard Nimoi. (0:32)
Andy: We should watch the Matrix: Reloaded after this.
Oscar: The Matrix of Leadership Reloaded. (0:34)
Jackie: Does that planet have horns?
Oscar: Yeah, it’s kind of like the Death Star meets Galactus… I can feel the acne popping out now. (0:35)
Nichole: Woah, they swore.
Oscar: Yeah, probably to get a PG rating. (0:37)
Stacey: Woah, they’re shooting flames.
Jackie: Not so much flames as marinara sauce. (0:39)
Jackie: Wait, what did he say?
Oscar: “Tell me again about the petro-rabbits.” Which means that someone throgh a Faulkner reference into Tranformers: The Movie. (0:40)
Oscar: “Never tell me the odds!”
Andy: I was just about to say that. (0:45)
Oscar: Someone designed robot seaweed.
Andy: Maybe the robots designed robot seaweed. “Do Robot Fish Dream of Electric Seaweed?” (0:45)
Andy: Man, I so want a robot squid. (0:46)
Oscar: A man-animal in an exo-suit!? (0:48)
Jackie: Is that Eric Idle?
Oscar: Yeah.
Jackie: With an evil robot moustache.
Andy: Fu Man-Python
Oscar: Fu Man-Tron. (0:49)
Oscar: You know, it takes a lot to convince me to not ride with a bunch of robot dinosaurs… (0:55)
Jackie: That’s got to be uncomfortable.
Andy: Yeah, and motion-sickness inducing.
Nichole: This movie is motion-sickness inducing. (0:58)
Jackie: Okay, they just drove down into water. How does that work? (0:59)
Andy: Yeah Weird Al! But why sing just this line?
Jackie: Why is he on here again?
Oscar: I heard he was the biggest act on the label that did the soundtrack. (1:03)
Jackie: I wouldn’t fuck with someone that has his own gravitational pull. (1:08)
Oscar: So, a flying robot triceritops that breathes fire… in space?
Jackie: Flying into a giant tranformed robot.
Oscar: That transformed into a viking. (1:13)
Stacey: Hit and run!
Andy: “Did anyone get the license plate on that robot?” (1:15)
Jackie: Dude, how do you strangle a robot? (1:15)
Oscar: “Might as well jump!” (1:19)
Andy: This movie’s a classic, but it needed a lot more Soundwave. A Little Energon and a Lot of Luck.
Nichole: This is the most uplifting movie I’ve seen all night. 1 Shit.
Oscar: Like many people who watch this now, it filled me with great notalgia for when I saw this three times in two weeks in the theatre. Unlike most of those people, that time was two years ago. 5 Retarded Robot Dinosaurs.
Stacey: Would be really cool in 3-D. Just 1 Female Robot
Jackie: A vast improvement over the previous movie we watched. Also I dig the cassette tape robots. 1 Song
