Episode #6 - Mr. Wong, Detective.
Andy: “I got this tripple feature puppy at CD Spins right before they closed up. Rest in peace. It’s got Boris Karloff. That was good enough for me. We’re just watching the first one.”
Oscar: Let’s hope this is a better transfer than Prom Night. Probably won’t be. Given the age of the film and quality of the distributor. But it’ll probably be a different kind of shitty. (0:00)
Jackie: Wow, this is going to be filled with fun racial stereotypes! (0:00:30)
Oscar: Looks like there’s… one actual Asian in the cast. (0:01)
Jackie: She didn’t move her mouth when she talked… did you see that?
Oscar: Yeah. This film has had some thrilling scenes so far.
Andy: Hey! There he is!
Oscar: The one actual Asian. (0:03)
Oscar: I thought he was going to do a cheesy Asian accent, but Boris Karloff really only does the Boris Karloff accent.
Jackie: Wait, is he supposed to be Asian?
Oscar: Yeah.
Jackie: Lame. (0:06)
Jackie: Wow! That’s some collar.
Oscar: Yeah.
Jackie: Looks like it’s going to fly away.
Stacey: Looks like something from Project Runway.
Oscar: Looks like something from Klaus Nomi. (0:08)
Andy: You know what this movie needs? A narrator.
All: Yeah.
Oscar: Or incidental music.
Stacey: I need a glass of Coke.
Jackie: You might need something stronger.
Oscar: You might want a line of coke. (0:11)
Andy: Shoot the lock off! Shoot the lock off!!! …or get a key. (0:13)
Andy: Please, movie, don’t show us what’s going on or anything.
Jackie: Is that a body?
Oscar: Move out of the way! (0:14)
Oscar: Simon didn’t say! (0:18)
Oscar: I’d love to take a car ride with this guy.
Andy: This movie is a little over an hour. Did they really need to pad the movie with extra characters? (0:25)
Andy: The Karloff is not the issue, dude. (0:27)
Oscar: You know, this might be one of the only true B movies we’ll be seeing. This was probably added on to another feature. (0:28)
Andy: “All he wanted to do was to frighten him,” is not a good defense. (0:29)
(Mr. Wong picks up a ukulele-sized stringed instrument)
Oscar & Andy (in unison): “Tiptoooeeee through the tuuuuliiiippsss…” (0:31)
Stacey: We couldn’t run sound on this scene. Would have cost too much. (0:35)
Jackie: There’s no music.
Oscar: Yeah. Dead air… um… dead air. (0:36)
Stacey: Ah, it’ll be the siren.
Oscar: Why, you could be an inscrutable Asian detective, Stacey!
Jackie: Why did they bother making the detective Asian if they couldn’t find a real Asian?
Oscar: Or have him even try to act Asian. (0:38)
Andy: Shoot the door! Shoot the door! Shooooot the dooooor!!! …or get a key. (0:39)
Stacey: Bureau of Investigation!
Jackie: Boi! (0:43)
Andy: Thrill as he looks for his pen!
Stacey: I like this movie. (0:47)
Oscar: How can this movie be too talky and have too much silence at the same time? (0:48)
Jackie: Is she wearing an entire fox? (0:50)
Jackie: Is that it?
Oscar: Naw, we still got 15 minutes.
Stacey: He just sent them to kill another person. The siren.
All: ahhhhhh…. (0:54)
Stacey: Dead guy. I win. (0:55)
Andy: How could it be Wong, when it feels so right?
All: oooooouuuggghhh
Jackie: I swear I was going to say that earlier, but decided against it.
Stacey: That’s why you’re a better person. (0:58)
Jackie: Most anticlimactic movie ever. (1:05)
Jackie: You figured that out twenty minutes in?
Andy: 38. I have it logged. (1:07)
Stacey: He’s like Colonel Gentleman! (1:09)
